Elf on the Shelf: Encouraging Positive Behaviors During the Holidays
As we continue through the holiday season, many families are bringing out their Elf on the Shelf®. This is a special Elf who visits homes from the North Pole to observe children’s behavior and report back to Santa until Christmas.
The concept of Santa’s “naughty or nice” list is certainly not new, but the fun visual reminder of the Elf has given children a new holiday tradition to look forward to, and parents a new way to work on behavior reinforcement with their kids.
For those of you who are hosting a special Elf visitor at your home this holiday season, here are some thoughts from Alaina Voller, MS, BCBA, LBA, Clinical Director at Dashi Rivers, on how to best use your Elf to reinforce and encourage positive behaviors with your kids.
Use your elf to display or model only APPROPRIATE behaviors
Each year, people share photos online of their elves posed doing something “naughty.” From a behavioral perspective, this is a bit confusing as kids could take that as a model for behavior. Since the Elf is intended to report on naughty/nice behavior, they should certainly be displaying “nice” behaviors themselves.
Example: Tidy up a small area that was left messy, and pose your Elf with a duster, broom, paper towel, etc. with a note along the lines of, “I didn’t finish tidying up, but would love it if you could help me!”
If you pair small gifts or treats with your Elf, the reward should be explained before the behavior, and arrive after the positive behavior happens
We talk about this a lot in ABA. Whatever the reward for a behavior is, it should be specific and communicated to the child before the behavior, and should be delivered when, and only when, the behavior has occurred. Rewards don’t have to be items - you can use quality time, favorite activities, or even “get out of work” if that’s what your child is motivated by!
Example: You have a big errand day the next day and you know your child may need some motivation to get through it. Pose your elf with the shopping list and a debit card with a note saying, “You have a busy day! If you can make it through with nice hands and a calm voice, you’ll get a new coloring book!”
*Note: if your child doesn’t make it through the day, you can give them another (perhaps easier) opportunity to earn the same thing - and talk about why gently.
Try to avoid pairing the Elf with punishment, reprimands, or privilege loss
Instead of using the Elf to draw attention to or shame an unwanted behavior, have the Elf offer a better alternative behavior and give them an opportunity to make it better.
Example: If today was a rough day and you had to take toys away or remove privileges, you could set up your Elf pointing to the removed toys (indicating they are available today) with the note, “Yesterday was rough, but today is a new day! We have a chance to show that we can share and keep our hands to ourselves.”
We wish you a safe and happy holiday season, from all of us at Dashi Rivers!
